SCOTUS Reflections after Mass

I am not a fighter. I was taught to fight, but I had to be pushed, and I have fought, out of frustration and anger and ignorance. But I am a lousy fighter. Actually, that's not true. I won my fights, but I have no more understanding of fighting, now, than I ever had before.

I may, now, argue for or defend others, but I do not have it in me to argue with those who are not angry. I do not argue, though perhaps I should. I admire people who argue well. They do a lot of good in this world!

So I do not argue for Christ. That must seem pretty lame, but it's true. I take exception to acts of exclusion and disregard, true, but I can't carry on a discussion. Or maybe that's not true. I think, in some ways, my behavior conducts argument and discussion, but I don;t want to try and explain that right now.

I'm thinking about the SCOTUS decision on marriage being allowed gays, and how lovely it is. A day later, I serve at church and enjoy and admire my priest's "natural law" arguments. Afterwards, I am not conflicted or confused. I do not feel right or wrong. I am simply happy.

Why is this?

My impression is that I have come to think with my heart, and to trust that fact, and my heart knows no conflict. My faith is entire, but my intellect - the scope of my understanding - is limited in certain respects to the here and now. I say to myself, All is God's. All that is good. I recall thinking that some of the so-called "contradictions" of the Bible are there in order to test us in exactly this point, that we should believe rather than merely arrive at faith as through a logical puzzle.

I feel I have been blessed with a strong faith, not merely in points of doctrine, but in the body of Christ as doctrine. I know my life is forever. What happens politically has no more weight, I believe in my heart, than the effect of a falling leaf. Joy today, sorrow tomorrow, and joy yet again. Our personhood is a vessel by which our soul leaves home on a testing journey only to return again, intact or tattered, for mercy's sake.

Therefore, in an important sense - maybe THE important one - I have a choice. I can stand on my pride and celebrate my warm ethical/moral feelings and look down on the statements of my priest or the Church, or, I can be grateful for the peace God has granted me and wish the same for all.

After Mass I found myself uttering a short prayer for our wonderful priest, Father John Boyle. This is right and just, from a Catholic perspective. So, if you are gay, I am happy for you. May you know great joy! But I am no less happy for Father John. I count every moment I spend with him a blessing and in that my heart is sure.